I just left a life- long abusive relationship. I’m not sure how I am going to survive without this relationship. We have been through decades of ups and downs together. But I recently became aware of how toxic this relationship had become in my life. I have been seeking comfort and validation in the relationship for as long as I can remember. I am afraid to be independent from this relationship. But deep down, I know that this commitment is no longer serving me, mentally, emotionally or physically. The abuse I have suffered in this relationship, I may never fully recover from. But I am determined to stay separated. No matter how much I crave the familiarity of our relationship. I have been aware of our damaged alliance for quite some time now. But I have never had the courage to break it off. Why did we stay together for so long you ask? I felt a sense of security in this relationship even when things were unbearable. I seemed to always go back, I craved the intimacy we shared on a daily basis. You may wonder how I could allow this to happen, for this arrangement, to have such power over me for so long. Now, I know you are asking yourself who is this person, who had so much control over me. I’m here to tell you this relationship was not with a person, it was with my bathroom scale. Now I know some of you think that it is absolutely ridiculous, how a scale could determine how I felt emotionally and lived my life on a daily basis? Others will be able to without a doubt relate to, what I have been through. And some of you are contemplating breaking up, with your own bathroom scale.
My inner voice has often been critical of the very thought of my relationship break up. But, I know it is time for me to stand on my own two feet independently from this relationship. I know what to do on my own away from the toxic environment. I have let that tiny little voice in my head determine my happiness for far too long. To grow and develop as a strong independent person we can never get back together. Let me be clear this break up does not give me permission to go off the rails and fall back into unhealthy lifestyle habits. This decision allows me ,to give myself permission to be happy and content where ever I am at, on my journey now. I challenge you to break it off with your own toxic relationship. Set some realistic goals and start your journey to become the person you envision.