My Story

For nearly 30 years I had a life most would envy. I was married with two children. My children attended private school. I quit my job at 40. I lived in an elegant home, drove expensive cars, and went on several trips a year. My life was far from perfect but, it did have perfect moments.

Then two years ago everything changed. When my husband died suddenly from a heart attack. In a split second with no warning, life as I knew it was never going to be the same ever again.

And here is where my story begins. I am not sharing my story for sympathy, compassion, or judgement. I am simply sharing my story to begin healing. Therefore, if your reading this I ask for your patience and understanding.

So……What do you do when your life takes you in a different direction. And doesn’t quite turn out as planned. Well, first of all you wake up every morning grateful for the blessings you have in your life. And you trust that every day you will have the courage to be a stronger more confident person than you were the day before.

I am not the same person today as I was a year ago. And I`m nothing like the person who experienced tragedy two years ago. You will rarely see me without a smile on my face. I have learned that I have the power to handle each challenge that I am faced with daily. I do not have control over circumstances, people or situations that I am confronted with daily. But I do have control over my actions and reactions to all of the above.

Grief and loss is not new to me. My first child was born premature and unfortunately passed away just hours after his birth. I can’t begin to explain the heartache of losing a child. But somehow by the grace of God I managed to march on. I am thankful for the life I have now with my two grown children.

Health and fitness has always been a substantial part of my life. Whenever I felt lost or alone. I could enter the gym and feel a sense of courage, strength and empowerment. With whichever situation, I was struggling to endure. The feeling I got when I was lifting weights in the gym seemed to relieve any anxiety and uncertainty I was experiencing. To this day I feel a sense of calmness and contentment when I train. One of the reasons I became a personal trainer was to share my passion for fitness and communicate the significance of a balanced lifestyle with others. The other reason was I was forced to quit my job due to a chronic medical condition. Its true some choices in life we don’t make for ourselves they are made for us. We can choose to allow our circumstances to define us or defeat us. Throughout my journey of self discovery, I have learned to accept the things I cannot change. I have realized that each and every one of us are faced with challenges daily. How we react to those challenges is pivotal to ones, vitality. I am on a mission to become the best version of me. So, I can help others become the best versions of themselves.

What I have learned through this whole process. All my past experiences have brought me here to you. My commitment to fitness and the well being of each individual client I am privileged to serve. I hope my story inspires you to take notice of your own health, fitness and life goals. And realize whatever difficult situation your are going through in life is only temporary. You can be the person you want to be. Your experiences will give you the strength and determination to live the life you have dreamed about. Live in the moment. Surround yourself with well intentioned individuals that bring you peace and happiness. And lastly, never regret anything that made you smile. 🙂

Side note: I wrote this on the second anniversary of my husbands passing. I feel like I have grown so much more as an individual in the three months since I first wrote this. I suppose time has away of healing. I have also set some very big goals for myself in 2019. I`m not quite ready to share them yet. But, I am working hard to be the best version of me for 2019. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If this post has inspired you in anyway to achieve your own goals or you just want to chat I’m here to listen with no judgement. 🙂

“When writing the story of your life. Don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” – Harley Davidson

My Story Part 2

In my previous blog, I shared some intimate details about the past 2 1/2years of my life. What I didn’t share was the struggles I overcame to become the person I am today. I experienced many dramatic changes in my life in a short amount of time. And I had no idea how to take control of my new life as a widow and an empty nester. I had no clear focus or direction to give my life meaning and purpose. When you experience such an extreme loss it is difficult to predict exactly how you are going to deal with the future that lies ahead. Struggling to come to terms with my new life I made a lot of poor choices. Which some of you reading this have witnessed firsthand. I chose to mask the pain with alcohol, a lot of alcohol daily. I pretended to be okay. But the truth is, I was very unhappy and afraid of my future.

Looking back, I realize to evolve I had to navigate through the following steps: Shock, Transition and finally Transformation. In the first year of my loss, I believe I was in shock. I was moving through my daily life with no clear direction. Unaware of my true feelings and emotions. The second year I experienced a period of transition. I sold our family home and slowly disconnected with my past life. Searching for my new identity I eliminated any association with days gone by. I am currently in the transformation stage of my life. I am learning that I can be a confident secure individual without a man and an abundance of alcohol to validate my life. Instead of being afraid of my future, I am excited about the endless possibilities. I am not saying that I have quit drinking forever. And that I am going to be holier than now and live a clean and sober lifestyle for the rest of my days. I mean lets face it, I enjoy a glass of fine wine. What I am saying is, that today I choose not to drink alcohol. Today…I choose to nourish my body with healthy foods. Today…I choose to exercise. Today…I choose to be confident with myself, no matter what size I am. Nobody looks good in their darkest hours. But its those hours that make us who we are.

Side note: I wrote this blog during the summer of 2019. I set some big goals for myself. Since I initially wrote this blog. I entered a fitness bikini competition at 50 years old. I introduced myself to the sport of golf. In part 3 of my story I will be sharing how I am working hard to be the best version of me for 2019. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If this post has inspired you in anyway to achieve your own goals or you just want to chat. I am here to listen with no judgement.

“Challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine

My Story Part 3

After more than 30 years in the fitness industry. On what would have been my husbands 60th birthday I competed in my first fitness bikini competition. I also had the privilege of enjoying this experience with my daughter. It has been a long road to self discovery since I first experienced tragedy a few years ago. But, I am finally living the life that was meant for me.

Throughout my 20 week transformation preparing for this competition.

I have learned….that I am a survivor.

I have learned….that I am capable of achieving any goal that I set out for myself.

I have learned….that my past does not define me.

I have learned….to love myself just as I am.

MY BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES
MAY 31, 2019 159lbs OCTOBER 26, 2019 129lbs

The girl in my before picture is someone I hardly recognize. That girl was unhappy, afraid, depressed and uncertain about her future. The woman that is in the post competition picture not only lost 30 lbs. But, she is confident, self assured and excited about her future. This woman was knocked down by grief and anguish. But she built herself back up with strength, courage and determination. It is my intention to inspire others to be the best version of themselves. Its never too late to rewrite the ending of your story.

” Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It`s about learning how to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene.

Side note: Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If this post has inspired you in anyway to achieve your own goals or you just want to chat, I am here with no judgement. Please feel free to contact me through the contact page on this website. And always remember a smile is the best makeup you will ever wear. 🙂

“Don`t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.” – Unknown

My Story Part 3

Share this:

Like this: